Part 1. The relegation also rans

Oh yes my footy crazed brethwen, it has been quite possibly the worst World Cup since I can remember but the wait is over, the Premiership Season is but 48 hours away and it’s promises to be scorcher. So many new faces coming and going and the usual influx of overseas youngsters stunting our development on the international stage but hey ho, sh*t happens and whatever we say, the power of the Premierships Big Nobs Nelsons will always win against it’s poorer FA brother.

Anyone want 3 tickets with me for an England international game tonight because i’ve got some and I can’t get shot of them. No surprising really, after the shambles in South Africa, I don’t think the FA are doing anyone any favours trying to milk the last bit wedge out of supporters. I’ve heard there is something approaching 20’000 tickets still unsold. If I was in charge, i’d try and get the public back on side before the Euros kick off next month. One way would be to dish out 20’000 of the tickets to football clubs at grass root levels, get the youngsters involved, get them to cheer on something and get them interested in the 3 Lions again rather than watch them 2nd hand through the media which is really putting them through the ringer of late.

Australia

The Ozzies are in the mix again and I’d rather we avoid them early doors. They did well in the last World Cup (a Totti last minute Pen knocking them out) & can turn it on if they stay off the Castlemaine but an ageing squad is a worry. They would love a win against us to make up for their Ashes defeat but sorry Bruce, when it comes to big round balls, we’re the crocs boll*cks mate!

Algeria

the Algerians knocked out Egypt literally in a bad tempered play-off. I doubt they’ll being knocking anyone out next summer though. We should run up a cricket score against this lot. It wouldn’t surprise me if Fabio puts out a few fringe players if we go 2 up before half time. The group c cannon fodder.

Argentina

Mmm, let me think of something nice to say about the Argies…..er……erm……..you can’t beat a nice bit of Corned Beef and piccalilli? The best team on paper managed by the best player ever (maybe after Pele, Bobby, The Kaiser and Johan). When it comes to tactics though, he is pony, how dirty Diego is in charge after the drugs shame of 94 is a joke but then it’s Diego Maradonna and Argentina). It will be funny to see his press conferences if things start to go pear shaped for the pear shaped manager. Any team with Messi though could win it, even though his form for the National team is newted by Maradonnas tactics. Not that he is their only hope. From front to back, they have the players to bring home the trophy again and I expect goals galore if they click, it’s a big if blue & white stripy if though.

France

Probably the most hated team in the world (Well certainly in Ireland and my gaff) and also parts of France no less. Raymondo The Dom hasn’t got a scooby about man management and puts some of selections down after looking through Justin toppers stars. With him in charge, I believe they will not get anywhere near the form of 2006 where Zidane dragged them to the final before doing his nutty boy impression. They look good on paper but I can’t see them getting past the last 8.

We go Brazil nuts with the J’s this week starting with a smoggy fave. Titchy Osvaldo Giroldo Júnior was more commonly known as Juninho. The former Middlesbrough darling scored 5 in 50 for them and did the business in 2002.

Another Premier League season comes to an end, it’s not been a classic quality wise, but for shear entertainment it’s been one we won’t forget for a long time. We’ve had goals, upsets, thrillers, sackings, transfer bargains, transfer flops not to mention gossip, cheating, boozing, fighting and even tears and snogs from grown men.

Here are the nominations for Dexy’s Dickhead of the year awards.

I get high, I get high, I get high, when I touch ya!!!

For those unfamiliar with Austin’s semi rave classic, I move swiftly onto higghh!! or I

Not to many too shout about to say the truth but I’ll start with I’tys, get it!

It’s all about the H’s this week and here’s a couple of heroes and villains for you. Lets start with a cheating froggy villain.